It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
