I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
