Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
