i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
