bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
