Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
