i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
