I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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