I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
