just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize