I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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