areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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