I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
