maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
