Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
