my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
