Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
