my vag is so smooth its legendary
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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