Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
