I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
