I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
