And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
