There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
