Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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