Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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