So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
