I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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