omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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