Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
