ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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