Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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