I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize