I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
