So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
