he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
