i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
