My room smells like vodka and shame
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
