DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
