new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
