just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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