yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
