god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
