ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
