We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this just has baby written all over it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
