the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
