what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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