I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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