Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Welp...herpes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
