I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
im on a boat
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