they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
