Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
