I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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