i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
