I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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