all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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