he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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