no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Come share oat with me in your robe
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
