If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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