I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
