i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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