Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
