6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
