my sisters under your porch take her home
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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