i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
