he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
