And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize