omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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