Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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