i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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