i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
