mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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