Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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