White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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